She Has a Pretty Nice Flow

(Tuesday, January 11, 2011)

I had a "snow" day today... which led to a day of nostalgia.  I decided to go through a few old journals and books of poetry of mine.  In case you didn't know, I love poetry... writing in general.  My passion for writing is different though.  I've always done bad in journalism and news media writing classes but flourished in creative writing ones.  Media writing can be so restricted.  There was a format that the teachers forced me to follow for journalistic purposes that I just couldn't get with whatsoever.  I thrive off of being able to place my commas where I want, capitalize what I want, and arrange words and phrases to what feels right to me.  I've studied communications all throughout college, so I understand the need for proper mechanics and grammar.  However, when it comes to telling a story, I'd like to just tell it.  So here, for the first time on my blog... I'd like to share with you the first poem I came across today in reminiscing.  I wrote this poem along time ago, somewhere between high school and college; so there's no need for anyone to feel special lol.
 

Presenting...  "Takin' Back" Enjoy! :)

Takin' Back

byAlicia Williams

See, I was takin' back the first day you looked at me... 

the first day you looked at me straight into my eyes as if you were trying to read my mind.

I was takin' back the first time you smiled at me... 

the first time you smiled at me I knew you were interested, I knew I had you in my grasp... 

I knew my chocolate had once again suceeded.

I was takin' back all of the nights we chilled together, whether indoors or outdoors.  

The nights we talked about whatever, enjoying each others' company, wanting one another, lusting silently.

I was takin' back each time my phone rang and it was you on the other end...

you calling because I was on your mind. 

I was takin' back, believe it or not.

 The conversations we had for minutes, for hours...  

The excitement in your voice told me that you were actually into what I was saying, into me.

I was takin' back the nights I laid down beside you... in your bed... close to you.

You kissing me softly in my most beautiful places.

Our lips touching, tongues meddling, me feeling you deep...ly.

I was takin' back.

 I was takin' back by everything we'd do, from the bites to eat, the nights alone, the public affection, the obvious admiration, the feeling of falling in love.

I was takin' back when the tables turned...

  when your pain became my anger which led to our drama. 

When you decided that I was getting too close, when initially... you welcomed my closeness and despised my distance.

I was takin' back the day I saw your arm wrapped around another girl... 

A smile on her face, and a smirk on yours... your homeboys patting you on your back. 

Playa... I was takin' back.

Takin' back even further as your list of "girl" "friends" increased... 

as your head got even bigger... your crew got even ruder, and your inclination towards me became less evident.

I was takin' back each moment I let your evilness slide, each time I became closer to becoming a "dummy".

I was takin' back by my own persistence to be with you... 

learning that I loved you, yet oblivious to the reality that your feelings weren't my feelings.

Takin' back? Was I.

The killer was how takin' back I was the day you pushed me out of your world completely.

Take me back... that's how I feel.

I feel takin' back by the fact that simply giving you what you wished for was not a task I coud do.

I was takin' back by the fact that I just didn't want to let you go... by how hooked I was, never realizing my own devotion and the extent of your deception.

Take me back.

Take me back to where I didn't cry every other night over a lost cause, over a lost soul... to where my happiness didn't depend on your happiness, to where I could do without you... but didn't.

Take me back to the man who wasn't trying to have a reputation... 

to the man who was trying to make a relationship... to the man who chased after me, the one I saw potential in... Please take me back to that place.

Take me back to where I was takin' back...

Takin' back by the idea of meeting someone who I was so attracted to, so into, so his, so yours when you had me takin' back.

Take me back to before you were even ever in my life, when I was drama-less, painless, emotionless...

When I was takin' back because falling in love felt that good...

Back then, before I knew love could hurt this bad.

Yours Truly... A.dot.M.dot.Dub.