I'm bringing all of this up because yesterday was one of those days for me. After having such a good week, the start of my weekend was disappointing and irritating from one reason after the other. I eventually made it through my sad Saturday. Woke up this morning instead, realizing that I hadn't been to church the past couple of weeks. For a while, I had done well in getting myself acquainted in re-establishing my fellowship. I'll be honest with you though... I still am not one who attends church every single Sunday, but I am spiritual and a strong believer of faith just as much as the next person. Some of you may be thinking that it's not good to go to church merely when times get tough. That you're supposed to show a consistent praise and worship of God, and this goes for almost every denomination. Well, who's to say that because you don't attend church on a regular basis that you worship and praise God any less than the man who's always there? When times get tough, your faith is where you are to turn if I'm correct. Indeed I was always taught that church was for sinners, not for saints. You attend for the fellowship, the ministry, and to learn God's word. You attend to gain a sense of peace within yourself and with God, even if it's just for a moment. Just so you can say that you know peace as you try to discover how to have it permanently. Today I went to my church, (Browns Memorial Baptist Church in Baltimore) searching for all of the above and all of the above I received.
When you first walk into your place of worship, there's an ease that naturally comes over you immediately. Everyone appears happy to be there (except for the kids who were forced there by a grandma lol). Everyone's happy to be alive and see another day, happy as if they've been looking forward all week for church on Sunday. I must admit, that has been me a couple of times. For whatever reason, I was excited to attend church on Sunday... excited to experience some sort of cleansing and/or epiphany. As I walked into church today, I was greeted and given blessings. And no I do not know everyone in my church. I come, sit in my spot, and relax. I do, however, at least let my guard down. We all are here for fellowship. These people could be mean and evil on a regular basis for all I know, but within the thresholds of worship everyone becomes one another's angels. Today we read scripture from the bible that touched my soul, God's words to his children indeed (Isiah 43:1-4). The youth dance ministry danced to "Thirsty" by Marvin Sapp (click to listen). The choir sang two songs about being thankful, which led the entire church to have a 15-20min "praise break" where people cried and shouted "thank you" with their hands extended. All eventually leading to my pastor, Dr. R. Lee Johnson, giving a sermon on the signs of depression and re-discovering your spirituality through extremely difficult times. My church may fit the mold of the stereotypical "black church" but it's what I know, it's what I enjoy. I carry my faith from what I've learned/experienced, and how I see fitting.
When my pastor was done the message of his sermon... he took a moment to share the battle that he's been dealing with in recently losing his mother. It was easy to notice that it was still a very sensitive topic for him, probably will always be. He didn't preach to us about the dealings with his mother; instead he just talked to the church, told us how it affected him so badly to the point where he didn't even want to preach any longer. Gave us a testimony to his triumph. And while everyone sat silently listening to his story, empathetic to his pain, a deacon who sat on the front row, began shouting and speaking in tongues. I'm not a holy ghost believer per say, but this man is normally a quiet man. Never shouts, always to himself as long as I've been attending this church. It was chilling almost. Again, out of my church's norm, the pastor asked us to join him at the altar post-sermon as he prayed. As I looked around, I saw tears rolling down everyone's faces... and before I knew it, I too fell victim to tears. I didn't even know what I was crying for, but I couldn't stop. Even as empathetic as I am, these days post-everything I've overcome thus far... it takes a lot for me to cry. I was embarrassed at first, trying to wipe them before anyone noticed but the tears continued to flow. I then remembered that I was in my place of worship, so it was okay to release whatever I needed to release. I was supposed to do so.
During the altar prayer, I kept going over in my head areas of life that my pastor was touching on during his prayer and had spoke of during his sermon. Normally, I write these things down as he speaks and this Sunday wasn't any different. He spoke of how the "lord has already brought you from things you thought you couldn't handle, why would he fail you now?" How "there's no need for people to be in your space if all they're going to do is disrupt your spirit." How sometimes you just need to ask people to leave you be and let you have your moment with God to work things out. How God uses adversity sometimes to bring us closer to our faith... and that "when God sees your faithfulness in the midst of your pain, that he will turn it into light." He reminded us that "God will restore our joy" where ever, whenever, if ever we lose it.
Today's service helped me remember how blessed I am, and how sometimes you need to just spend the time praising and thanking who ever you pray to for keeping you blessed. He suggested that we all find a verse, or a few verses that we can hold on to when times get tough... that we meditate and pray. All of which are in sync with "Eat, Pray, Love". What stuck out the most to me today was a certain quote he kept repeating. "He (God) may not come when you want him, but he's always on time." Timing is indeed everything, as in God having me attend church today knowing that I'd take every bit of it that was for me. The verse that I own, Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding" revolves around timing. Suggesting that you just trust that God will take care of it, in due time. I give everyone else the advice of waiting your turn and for your time. That if your heart is confused, hurt, lost, angry... in God's time, things will change for the better. Today's service gave me a better understanding of why having a place of worship is important. We don't have all the answers, but in the presence of such positivity in a world where that doesn't happen often... a place of worship allows you to let go. Even if you only go to your place of worship when you really need it, God sends you there that day because there is something that he wants you to hear and/or experience. Ultimately, it's all about timing. You may think your urge of fellowship is dependent solely on how you're feeling or just because you believe it's time... when actually, every second of your life has already been strategically scheduled through God's timing. You're merely controlling the DVRed version.
Here are a few songs that have always been my ABSOLUTE favorite examples of "ministry through music". I prefer saying ministry through music because that's truly what it is...
Click and be blessed :)
Click and be blessed :)
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