A Different Kind of Lovin'

Rumor has it that I'm bad in answering and returning phone calls... so says a few close friends of mine.  I object and completely disagree with this statement!!! You know how it is sometimes, you truly get engulfed or distracted by something that you were doing when they called.  Your friends though, your closes ones at that, the ones who know your day to day schedule, will call you during the most awkward times of your day... times where day in and day out you are not available.

They'll call you when they know you are still asleep, taking your daily nap, at work where talking on the phone is NOT even an option, booed up, or away somewhere where your cellphone is the last thing on your mind or not even accessible.  Then they'll wonder why you haven't answered their calls lol... c'mon now deviant callers known as the friends that I love dearly, call me when I'm actually free! haha.  It may sound like I'm nagging or complaining, but I'm not.  My circle of friends has just been getting on me about this lately, so I wanted to tease them.  This blog entry doesn't even have anything to do with missed calls.  Instead it's about the ones in our lives who we love like family but aren't related to us by blood, not one drop... our FRIENDS... more specifically... our close friends, known as our CIRCLE.  This blog entry is dedicated to my Trio! Established @ Howard University... prior & post.  This is truly a different kind of lovin'.

Most of us have probably heard of the saying that goes something like "as you get older you don't lose friends, you find out who your real ones are."  Don't quote me, but you get the gist of it.  When you get older, you go through these phases where you begin to distant yourself from certain people.  Either because your interest are no longer the same, they've done something unacceptable to you or someone close to you, or you feel as if you can no longer deal with their immature and/or screwed up character.  From personal experience and observation, here are a few "friends", also known as associates who we all should avoid and RUN AWAY from if we call any of these types of people "friends". (Unless you fall into the same categories yourself).  They are as follows:

1. The Groupie. They want to use you for the limelight.  There is something that you have or something/someone that you have access to that they want or want to be around.  In a creepy way, sometimes it appears that they want to be you.
2. The Con Man. They lie and are sneaky = can't be trusted. You can't loan this friend anything because you'll never get it back.  They will connive their way into getting whatever it is that they need out of you.  From a sad story, for sympathy... to a "you get this round of drinks, I got the next one!"... which you know won't  happen! 
3. The Attention Whore.  They want every bit of attention that you receive, no matter if it's from the opposite sex, other fellow friends, an employer, a coach, family etc.  They want it all!  And they'll leave you high and dry out in the cold to get what they want!
4. The Flirt. Not to be confused with The Attention Whore, but they do go hand and hand.  This person craves feeling like the most beautiful/flyest thing out there... and if that means feeling as if they could take your girl/man away from you then so be it.  You don't feel comfortable with them around your boyfriend/girlfriend or even just someone who you have a crush on or are somewhat interested in.
5. The Tabloid. They always have negative things to say about other people and/or are always gossiping about someone.  9 times out of 10 when you aren't around they dog you hard as hell and tell all of your business.
6. The Hater. They belittle you.  They are so stuck on themselves, or jealous of what you have that the only way to make themselves feel better is to diss everything that you have and anything that goes good for you.
7. The Spoiled Brat. They're selfish.  When the going gets tough for you, they are no where to be found.  They want you there for them for everything, and will be quick to call you out if you're not.  Strangely they turn into David Blaine and disappear when you need them most.
8. The Dropout. This friend really has no ambition or the goals that they have are crazy.  They bring you down... always wanting to get into trouble of some sort.  They may even clown and make jokes about you and your success/drive to succeed in front of other nobodies.
9. The Love Sick Puppy. With this friend, any man/girl/boo that comes into their life is immediately placed in front you.  Once this friend is "in love" you can say goodbye to any and everything that you did to hang out.  They make it clear that you are only priority and important when they are single and lonely... but yet you are the first one they call as soon they get played.
10. The Dependent.  You might as well start claiming this friend on your taxes!  It is soooo important that you are there for them for literally EVERYTHING.  They call you with questions like, "I don't know if I should breathe today? What do you think?"  If it weren't for you, this poor sole wouldn't know how to function properly.
 

There maybe some other types that you can think of, but the aforementioned ones are people who I've come across.  By the age of 25, these people NEED to be completely gone out of your life! I've gone away from having a big circle of friends.  I used to have a big circle that I talked to about life and my feelings... to only find out later that those people couldn't be trusted.  It hurts when you lose a good friend.  When a person becomes a good friend, it's as if they become a part of your family.  Whether you hate them or not... there is always a bit of nostalgia from funny, crazy, and wacky moments that you've had together.  And what sucks, are the moments when you look back when that person was there for you for a particular situation, or the moments when you remember actually feeling brother/sisterhood... it makes you ask yourself... What went wrong??

I've honestly battled with that question a few times, too many times for my liking.  Too many times to where it's made me sit down and question my own state of mind and ability to be a good friend.  Maybe it's me I considered?  But then those remaining good friends of mine, pointed out that I have a good heart, which causes me to give someone too much credit when they've shown me signs that they didn't deserve that much credit in the first place.  Yea, I'm definitely past that point now.  My senior year of college, after the elementary/middle/and underclassmen friend fumbles and tests, after I myself had to mature... I found my true circle of friends.

My circle is very small indeed.  These people have been there for me through my most trying times without ever judging me or making me feel ashamed for any mistake or choice that I've made.  They have never tried to hate, support me in literally EVERYTHING that I want to do and have done!  They have always told me the truth when it came to guys, even physically hurt for me as I went through some very trying times in maturing.  We are each quirky and different in our way, but we understand that about one another.  We all have ambition, spirituality, beauty, and brains.  I pray that these ladies remain my close circle forever... and that I am as a good friend to them as they are to me.  My big brother from another mother, Ray, gets an honorable mention for all of the above reasons as well (but I won't put his photo up without his approval lol).  I don't regret any friend ordeal that I've had.  Just as in any ordeal in life, you live and you learn.  And those who matter will be around throughout that process.  If you wouldn't settle for a mate, then why settle for a friend.

“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” ~Anonymous