She Say He's Just A Friend

Twitter has done it again... inspired another blog entry.  Last night I got into a conversation over twitter with one of my male followers about male/female friendships.  Throughout my life, I've heard that it is impossible for a male and female to legitimately be good friends... blasphemy almost it seems.  I beg to differ.  Indeed, I have a good male friend who is actually like a big brother to me.  Never once has he tried to date me, not during or prior to our friendship.  The thought of that happening doesn't even concern me because we truly see one another as damn near family.

What bothers me about the male/female friendship complex is that sadly, most male/female friendships aren't legit or barely exist.  My female friends and I find ourselves discussing the array of guys who you happen to become friends with, grow to believe are great men, and the coolest people.  Then suddenly the day comes when those guys admit to having a huge crush on you and force you to chose between continuing the friendship or progressing to lovers.  Sometimes, this is a wonderful thing.  This guy is someone who you yourself may have always had a liking for, but then other times not so much.  You may think that this male friend of yours who decided to confess his love for you looks great on paper, but there is simply no spark there for you.  You have honestly grown to see him as a good friend and a good friend only.  The two of you are then left in an awkward situation that leaves you sitting somewhere between guilt and disappointment, and your friend sitting somewhere between resent and embarrassment.  On your behalf, the guilt is there because you hate that you had to hurt his feelings, and disappointment because now the friendship that you appreciated so much is potentially gone.

Now I am not trying to discourage anyone from admitting their feeling to someone.  There are sooo many situations where the other person had been feeling the same way, but just didn't have the courage to say anything.  The male/female friendship complex is just an interesting one to me.  It is so hard to tell when an actual friendship exists, and when the wool is potentially being pulled over your eyes and a secret is being kept.  It can be frustrating for any man or woman who is just being introduced to the opposite sex close friend.  However, it all has to do with being secure in yourself.  If you have worries and fears, then maybe your boo isn't giving you enough assurance in your relationship as a whole.  If they were, then maybe you wouldn't be so paranoid over a friendship.  It does all stem back to being confident in yourself and trusting in your partner.

Honestly, I have dated guys where their so-called female friend(s) rubbed me the wrong way.  In order to deem someone an actual friend where attraction is not a factor, I feel that you should be able to talk to whoever you're dating on the phone or in person comfortably with your friend around.  There should not be a need to hide and/or play keep away with how deep your friendship or relationship is with anyone.  When these things don't occur smoothly, then yes, I do become like the rest of society and shun the idea of true male/female friendships.  But then I remember my own male/female friendship and all of the speculation that has occurred whenever I first start dating a guy.

As a result of all of this uncertainty that exist when it comes to male/female friendships, I have taken the liberty to compose a list of what I believe are the10 types of male friends that can and do actually exist within a female's life.  This list is not to be confused with the list of friend types in general that I've done on a previous blog of mine.  This list is more so for the public to agree or disagree.  Guys, you may fall into one or a few of these categories within the lives of female friends of yours.  And females, you maybe able to pinpoint different male friends from your own life on this list.  These 10 are not representative of all of my male friends.  It is simply the 10 I see existing in general.  They are as follows:

1. The Brother - This one is self-explanatory, and no I am not talking about a female's actual blood brother.  The brother-like friend is the one who females go to for everything.  He is the one who, outside of your female friends, knows most of your inner, deepest, darkest secrets.  The two of you probably have arguments, from time to time, like actual brothers and sister's.  You call him whenever you need that good ol' male advice and he calls you for female advice.  You call on him for mechanical questions, technology woes, and for any other facet of your life where a man's words or presence is warranted.  Your opinion of who he is dating is important to him, as his opinion is important to you.  Guys don't have to worry about the brother type taking your girl, instead it would be best for you to get the brother type on your side.  If he tells her a certain "nigga ain't sh*t!", she takes his word.  She has the utmost respect for him as if he were family.

2. The Homeboy - A female's homeboy is just that, her homeboy.  This friendship normally starts from the sharing of a common interest.  Maybe the two of you had classes together, were teammates, co-workers, hung in the same circle, or simply got to know one another through a mutual friend.  In public, it would appear that the two of you are the tightest thing walking.  He looks out for you when need be; however, the two of you don't talk outside of running into one another.  No texting, no phone conversations... only here and there hellos and funny convos over social networks and chats.  This person may always remain a homeboy because he is more than likely off limits because one of you is or was dating a friend of the other or because one of you knows that a good friend of yours is crazy about the other.   
 
3. The Best Friend - Not to be confused with the previous two, the best friend friendship often times starts with a male and female being friends by default.  By default, I mean that the two of you might've grown up together or rolled in the same neighborhood.  Growing up the two of you were always forced to befriend one another and be in each others' presence.  Maybe because your parents are such good friends whose kids happen to be around the same age, or maybe because you simply lived next door to one another and someone's household was always babysitting the other.  This friend may carry a lot of the same characteristics as the brother type; however, there is room for denial in how deep this friendship may actually be.  Would you and this person honestly be this "cool" and call one another "bestfriend" if the obligation wasn't there from the get-go?

4. The Conversationalist - Self-explanatory, this male friend is known for his excellent conversation.  Whenever you need someone to talk to, not for advice, but more so for distraction... he is the one you text/call/contact.  He answers every message at a timely manner, returns every phone call, and says all of the right things at that moment to take your mind off of whatever it is.  There maybe interest on his part, but for you it's all about his gift of gab.

5. The Girl Friend - This male friend is essentially the gay friend.  You look to him for fashion advice because in your mind, he can tell what shoes match with what dress better than any of your female friends can.  You expect him to be witty and full of personality.  You even turn to him at times to gain insight as to what goes on in the mind of a man.  He is indeed the best of both worlds.

6. The Clutch Friend - This male friend is always there when you need him.  Outside of wanting someone to talk to, this friend is there to take you out.  All you have to do is say the magic words, and he is ready to scoop you up or meet you somewhere for a night of entertainment.  He has probably expressed his motives and/or intentions with you prior to being good friends; however, you placed him in the friend zone.  You appreciate the good person that he is so much, that you refuse to let him go despite not feeling the same about him.  The clutch friend is the one who puts a smile on your face and knows how to make you feel good inside because that is a task that he welcomes on your behalf.  Guys beware, she may not like him now, but the clutch friend has the potential to win her heart the day you leave her vulnerable.

7. The Potential "more than friends" Friend - This male friend is the one who you actually could see yourself dating.  The interaction between the two of you is consistent enough to place him in the male friend category, but minimal enough to where he doesn't progress to dating-status.  For whatever reason(s), this friend is off limits as well.  Or you are afraid to admit to him why you really hang around him.  There is sort of an unspoken awkwardness here.  You don't really have too much activity with this one, but the respect is there enough to where you could ask for something if you truly needed it. 

8. The F.B. (f*ck buddy) - We're grown, so let's be honest.  This friend exists for a lot of people, male and female.  Many are even in denial about it.  This male friend is the one who has successfully attracted you physically.  The two of you fall into every stereotypical booty-call category.  This F.B. situation was either agreed on verbally by the two of you, or just somehow found a way to happen.  Sadly, a lot of times females find themselves on the bad end of the F.B. deal once feelings begin to get involved.  Having this male friend is not recommended and is highly dangerous to one's health and state of mind.

9. The Ex - Not always operating as a friend, I decided to throw the ex-boyfriend into this male friend category because he does exist.  Sometimes acting as more than a pain-in-the-butt than a friend, it is possible for a decent friendship to be established because of the history between the two of you.  This is usually only feasible when both you and your ex are honestly over one another; otherwise, this friendship is full of jealousy and bitterness.  If successfully pulled off, the ex as a friend can serve as a good stepping stone for future relationships as long as you are completely honest with your future partner about the extent of you and your ex's friendship.

10. The All In One - Fellas, I must warn you... be afraid of this friend... be very afraid!  Ok, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic.  But this friend encompasses all of the traits of the aforementioned male friends (maybe not the girl friend or the Ex).  He acts like a brother, a homeboy, and a best friend all in one.  He always comes through in the clutch with whatever you need, and he is excellent on paper in regards to being someone you would actually date.  If you are to develop an actual relationship from a true friendship, the all-in-one type may be the perfect candidate one day.  The only bad part is that once you cross that friendship line, if it fails, there may never be any going back to actual good friends.

A Different Kind of Lovin'

Rumor has it that I'm bad in answering and returning phone calls... so says a few close friends of mine.  I object and completely disagree with this statement!!! You know how it is sometimes, you truly get engulfed or distracted by something that you were doing when they called.  Your friends though, your closes ones at that, the ones who know your day to day schedule, will call you during the most awkward times of your day... times where day in and day out you are not available.

They'll call you when they know you are still asleep, taking your daily nap, at work where talking on the phone is NOT even an option, booed up, or away somewhere where your cellphone is the last thing on your mind or not even accessible.  Then they'll wonder why you haven't answered their calls lol... c'mon now deviant callers known as the friends that I love dearly, call me when I'm actually free! haha.  It may sound like I'm nagging or complaining, but I'm not.  My circle of friends has just been getting on me about this lately, so I wanted to tease them.  This blog entry doesn't even have anything to do with missed calls.  Instead it's about the ones in our lives who we love like family but aren't related to us by blood, not one drop... our FRIENDS... more specifically... our close friends, known as our CIRCLE.  This blog entry is dedicated to my Trio! Established @ Howard University... prior & post.  This is truly a different kind of lovin'.

Most of us have probably heard of the saying that goes something like "as you get older you don't lose friends, you find out who your real ones are."  Don't quote me, but you get the gist of it.  When you get older, you go through these phases where you begin to distant yourself from certain people.  Either because your interest are no longer the same, they've done something unacceptable to you or someone close to you, or you feel as if you can no longer deal with their immature and/or screwed up character.  From personal experience and observation, here are a few "friends", also known as associates who we all should avoid and RUN AWAY from if we call any of these types of people "friends". (Unless you fall into the same categories yourself).  They are as follows:

1. The Groupie. They want to use you for the limelight.  There is something that you have or something/someone that you have access to that they want or want to be around.  In a creepy way, sometimes it appears that they want to be you.
2. The Con Man. They lie and are sneaky = can't be trusted. You can't loan this friend anything because you'll never get it back.  They will connive their way into getting whatever it is that they need out of you.  From a sad story, for sympathy... to a "you get this round of drinks, I got the next one!"... which you know won't  happen! 
3. The Attention Whore.  They want every bit of attention that you receive, no matter if it's from the opposite sex, other fellow friends, an employer, a coach, family etc.  They want it all!  And they'll leave you high and dry out in the cold to get what they want!
4. The Flirt. Not to be confused with The Attention Whore, but they do go hand and hand.  This person craves feeling like the most beautiful/flyest thing out there... and if that means feeling as if they could take your girl/man away from you then so be it.  You don't feel comfortable with them around your boyfriend/girlfriend or even just someone who you have a crush on or are somewhat interested in.
5. The Tabloid. They always have negative things to say about other people and/or are always gossiping about someone.  9 times out of 10 when you aren't around they dog you hard as hell and tell all of your business.
6. The Hater. They belittle you.  They are so stuck on themselves, or jealous of what you have that the only way to make themselves feel better is to diss everything that you have and anything that goes good for you.
7. The Spoiled Brat. They're selfish.  When the going gets tough for you, they are no where to be found.  They want you there for them for everything, and will be quick to call you out if you're not.  Strangely they turn into David Blaine and disappear when you need them most.
8. The Dropout. This friend really has no ambition or the goals that they have are crazy.  They bring you down... always wanting to get into trouble of some sort.  They may even clown and make jokes about you and your success/drive to succeed in front of other nobodies.
9. The Love Sick Puppy. With this friend, any man/girl/boo that comes into their life is immediately placed in front you.  Once this friend is "in love" you can say goodbye to any and everything that you did to hang out.  They make it clear that you are only priority and important when they are single and lonely... but yet you are the first one they call as soon they get played.
10. The Dependent.  You might as well start claiming this friend on your taxes!  It is soooo important that you are there for them for literally EVERYTHING.  They call you with questions like, "I don't know if I should breathe today? What do you think?"  If it weren't for you, this poor sole wouldn't know how to function properly.
 

There maybe some other types that you can think of, but the aforementioned ones are people who I've come across.  By the age of 25, these people NEED to be completely gone out of your life! I've gone away from having a big circle of friends.  I used to have a big circle that I talked to about life and my feelings... to only find out later that those people couldn't be trusted.  It hurts when you lose a good friend.  When a person becomes a good friend, it's as if they become a part of your family.  Whether you hate them or not... there is always a bit of nostalgia from funny, crazy, and wacky moments that you've had together.  And what sucks, are the moments when you look back when that person was there for you for a particular situation, or the moments when you remember actually feeling brother/sisterhood... it makes you ask yourself... What went wrong??

I've honestly battled with that question a few times, too many times for my liking.  Too many times to where it's made me sit down and question my own state of mind and ability to be a good friend.  Maybe it's me I considered?  But then those remaining good friends of mine, pointed out that I have a good heart, which causes me to give someone too much credit when they've shown me signs that they didn't deserve that much credit in the first place.  Yea, I'm definitely past that point now.  My senior year of college, after the elementary/middle/and underclassmen friend fumbles and tests, after I myself had to mature... I found my true circle of friends.

My circle is very small indeed.  These people have been there for me through my most trying times without ever judging me or making me feel ashamed for any mistake or choice that I've made.  They have never tried to hate, support me in literally EVERYTHING that I want to do and have done!  They have always told me the truth when it came to guys, even physically hurt for me as I went through some very trying times in maturing.  We are each quirky and different in our way, but we understand that about one another.  We all have ambition, spirituality, beauty, and brains.  I pray that these ladies remain my close circle forever... and that I am as a good friend to them as they are to me.  My big brother from another mother, Ray, gets an honorable mention for all of the above reasons as well (but I won't put his photo up without his approval lol).  I don't regret any friend ordeal that I've had.  Just as in any ordeal in life, you live and you learn.  And those who matter will be around throughout that process.  If you wouldn't settle for a mate, then why settle for a friend.

“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” ~Anonymous

Things Just Got Prettier

I'm so happy right now! Why? Because I found a way to start over!  Nooo I'm not talking about with life, but I'm talking about my precious blog!  For approximately the last 5 days, I have been going crazy because I have been unable to sign in to Google Account or Blogspot to access my blog.  My mind is always filled with so much that I thought I was going to have a breakdown with my new found outlet being basically non-existent.  It had only been a week, funny I know.  I told myself that even though I re-created my blog tonight, that I would go to bed and NOT post a blog.... buuuut what good is having your own outlet for writing if you don't do what you want with it right?  As you can see from the different url address, I never figured out how to attain access to my original blog.  Instead, I came across a very insightful website on blogspot that explained the issue and helped me face the fact that my blog would be lost for-ev-er *creepy voice*!  All because of a typo with my email address. *Sigh*

I, of course, was tempted to tell myself, "ok that was fun while it lasted!"  But the positive feedback that I have been receiving from my readers, also known as my friends, has been such a motivation more than I think any of them know!  I've had people tweet, call, message, text, and facebook me about how good my blog is and how they love reading what I have so far, what I'm doing... How it's refreshing and motivating...  How it touches their real life... How they'd like to tell the world about it... How they're simply happy to see me doing what I love to do!  To these people, I would like to scream at the top of my lungs THANK YOU!!!!!  That love that you have been giving me has been allowing me to take my own advice from the things that I've written.  It took me sometime, but I basically started this current blog from scratch.  It is identical to my previous blog with all of the same entries copied and pasted.  I've gone through all of the necessary steps this time to make sure that I won't lose this one.  I've even double checked with my heart to make sure that starting this completely over was worth it.

So here I am at 5 o'clock in the morning, writing.  Not about anything quirky and cute that popped into my brain... but simply rediscovering a passion I've had since my childhood.  And with that, I'd like to say thank you.  Thank you to all of my friends, and friends of friends, random readers, and admirers who unknowingly and knowingly are driving me to love again what I had lost.  Thank you for allowing Alicia to be Alicia, whether in person or through a craft.  My previous blog was titled When Life Gets Ugly... Get Pretty! In making perfect sense, I titled this blog When Life Gets Ugly... Get Prettier!  As life continues to come up with creative ways to toss me lemons, I'll keep coming up with creative ways to turn those lemons into something sweet... bump sour lemonade! I want the good stuff! lol :)  See you in the a.m. beautiful people!

She Has a Pretty Nice Flow

(Tuesday, January 11, 2011)

I had a "snow" day today... which led to a day of nostalgia.  I decided to go through a few old journals and books of poetry of mine.  In case you didn't know, I love poetry... writing in general.  My passion for writing is different though.  I've always done bad in journalism and news media writing classes but flourished in creative writing ones.  Media writing can be so restricted.  There was a format that the teachers forced me to follow for journalistic purposes that I just couldn't get with whatsoever.  I thrive off of being able to place my commas where I want, capitalize what I want, and arrange words and phrases to what feels right to me.  I've studied communications all throughout college, so I understand the need for proper mechanics and grammar.  However, when it comes to telling a story, I'd like to just tell it.  So here, for the first time on my blog... I'd like to share with you the first poem I came across today in reminiscing.  I wrote this poem along time ago, somewhere between high school and college; so there's no need for anyone to feel special lol.
 

Presenting...  "Takin' Back" Enjoy! :)

Takin' Back

byAlicia Williams

See, I was takin' back the first day you looked at me... 

the first day you looked at me straight into my eyes as if you were trying to read my mind.

I was takin' back the first time you smiled at me... 

the first time you smiled at me I knew you were interested, I knew I had you in my grasp... 

I knew my chocolate had once again suceeded.

I was takin' back all of the nights we chilled together, whether indoors or outdoors.  

The nights we talked about whatever, enjoying each others' company, wanting one another, lusting silently.

I was takin' back each time my phone rang and it was you on the other end...

you calling because I was on your mind. 

I was takin' back, believe it or not.

 The conversations we had for minutes, for hours...  

The excitement in your voice told me that you were actually into what I was saying, into me.

I was takin' back the nights I laid down beside you... in your bed... close to you.

You kissing me softly in my most beautiful places.

Our lips touching, tongues meddling, me feeling you deep...ly.

I was takin' back.

 I was takin' back by everything we'd do, from the bites to eat, the nights alone, the public affection, the obvious admiration, the feeling of falling in love.

I was takin' back when the tables turned...

  when your pain became my anger which led to our drama. 

When you decided that I was getting too close, when initially... you welcomed my closeness and despised my distance.

I was takin' back the day I saw your arm wrapped around another girl... 

A smile on her face, and a smirk on yours... your homeboys patting you on your back. 

Playa... I was takin' back.

Takin' back even further as your list of "girl" "friends" increased... 

as your head got even bigger... your crew got even ruder, and your inclination towards me became less evident.

I was takin' back each moment I let your evilness slide, each time I became closer to becoming a "dummy".

I was takin' back by my own persistence to be with you... 

learning that I loved you, yet oblivious to the reality that your feelings weren't my feelings.

Takin' back? Was I.

The killer was how takin' back I was the day you pushed me out of your world completely.

Take me back... that's how I feel.

I feel takin' back by the fact that simply giving you what you wished for was not a task I coud do.

I was takin' back by the fact that I just didn't want to let you go... by how hooked I was, never realizing my own devotion and the extent of your deception.

Take me back.

Take me back to where I didn't cry every other night over a lost cause, over a lost soul... to where my happiness didn't depend on your happiness, to where I could do without you... but didn't.

Take me back to the man who wasn't trying to have a reputation... 

to the man who was trying to make a relationship... to the man who chased after me, the one I saw potential in... Please take me back to that place.

Take me back to where I was takin' back...

Takin' back by the idea of meeting someone who I was so attracted to, so into, so his, so yours when you had me takin' back.

Take me back to before you were even ever in my life, when I was drama-less, painless, emotionless...

When I was takin' back because falling in love felt that good...

Back then, before I knew love could hurt this bad.

Yours Truly... A.dot.M.dot.Dub.

Any Given Sunday

 (Sunday, January 9, 2011)

On this gorgeous but cold, NFL Sunday in Baltimore, Maryland... I'd like to introduce the die-hard sports fan, glued to the t.v. each and every NFL Sunday, football fanatic herself! Me of course :)  This Sunday is special though, why?  Because the home team plays a big game today.  And in honor of my Baltimore Ravens beginning their post season play this afternoon against the Kansas City Chiefs, I dedicate this blog to them!

The picture to the left is none other than Baltimore Raven's free safety, and in my opinion, one of the best defensive players to ever play in the NFL... Edward Earl Reed, Jr.  In the wake of today's game excitement, the Raven's are also dealing with a sense of somberness.  Just two days ago, Ed Reed's younger brother went missing and is now presumed drowned after he allegedly jumped into the Mississippi River to allude police.  Officers were said to be chasing him because the car he was driving was believed to be stolen.  A car at which his mother is adamant was not stolen and belongs to a family member.

I don't know about you but this story sounds fishy.  Why would his brother willingly jump into a river to escape?  I'm sorry but purposely jumping into a random body of water is something that us black folks just don't do.  Then if he were drowning, why didn't any decorated, aiming to "protect and serve" officer go in after him?  Did they not see him jump?  And if they did not see him jump, then how did they conclude that he had jumped?  He could've slipped and fell for all we know.  Too many unanswered questions.  I'm not a detective or anything, but I wouldn't be surprised if this story involved foul play.

How I see it, his brother could've been a victim off a black man driving in the wrong part of the south.  The cops probably pulled him over, looking for something wrong; to then see that the car was not registered to him.  Suddenly it was assumed that the black man must've stolen the car in an attempt to arrest and harass him.  His brother probably ran for his life, knowing what was about to happen or what was already happening and no one was around to watch (Rodney King-like possibilities).  Or even worse, the cops might've done a number on him and rid of the poor boy's body.  I'd like the think that this isn't the case, but it's terrible to know that incidents like these are even still believable in 2011. 

 
Despite the craziness of this tragic case, sudden deaths and occurrences like these make you think.  In a couple of seconds, your life could be turned upside down.  This past week, a young man from my former track and field team died in a motorcycle accident, he was 25.  And a young lady I went to middle and high school with was in a horrendous head on collision that has left her barely moving in shock trauma, and the other driver deceased,  She too is 25.  Tragedy has no owner.  It comes and goes as it pleases, to whomever it chooses, whenever it chooses.  Similar to today's weather, life can be gorgeous but cold.  The beauty of living is why you want to live but the coldness it can bring has you sitting on edge at times, awaiting the storm.

I'm sadden this week to see tragedy hit somewhat close to home with the death of my former teammate and the head injury of my former classmate.  It makes me want to yell "I love you" to the world, and "I appreciate you"... just in case I never get to tell those who need to hear it from me.  Today, Ed Reed must play a very important game that decides whether his 2010-2011 football season ends today.  He must somehow take the pain and hurt that he feels from the death of his brother, and place it on the field.  He will literally play his heart out.

With each of the NFL playoff games being played, this given Sunday could potentially be the end of anyone's season.  In the same way that any given day could potentially be the end of something crucial in your life... or everything.  You know the funny thing about trials and tribulations, is that they have a way of inspiring.  The pain you feel can lead you to discover a passion or become reacquainted with an old one, to do good for someone else who is going through the same as you or ten times worse, to finally let go of all of the small things that have been plaguing you... or to play the game of your life that could add to your legacy.

I'm pretty in purple today... black and purple love no matter today's outcome.  My heart goes out to Ed Reed and his family and to anyone else going through a tragedy at this very moment.  

"TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL THINE HEART AND LEAN NOT UNTO THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING." ~Proverbs 3:5 *my sanity*

When Life Gets Ugly... Act like a lady

(Friday, January 7, 2011)

Time and time again as young ladies we are told that we are supposed to act like a lady when life gets ugly, but this generation can be a bit confusing.  We have the strong, independent women around us who are happy and proud to say that they absolutely, positively do NOT need a man in their lives, are the head of their household, and often times play the "angry woman" role if you dare get her order wrong in a restaurant.  Then we have the women who are traditional and old-fashion.  These are stereotypically women with strong southern roots who feel that being submissive to a man is key to gaining you one and having a gorgeous family together.  These women would not mind being homemakers, and may even look down upon women who were never married or had their children out of wedlock.

These two contradictions of a female make it difficult for those of us in our 20s who are just now feeling out the world.  I often find myself in tough situations, never knowing if it is the time for me to show that I am not a weak female… or if I must act like a lady at all cost and choose my battles.  No matter how I decide to handle my battles and/or my business, life gets ugly.  Since graduating from college in 2007, I have seen life turn its ugly head.  From financial issues, to school issues, to male drama, and family drama… life gets ugly.  The ugliness of life is what inspired this blog, because like myself, 90% of the world does not know the best way to handle life when it gets ugly. Hell, more than a quarter of that 90% probably doesn't even know who they are yet.  Looking into a mirror every day trying to decide whether their conscious is stable enough to take the pretty road or the ugly one... most who haven't even been able to look themselves in the mirror and give a definite answer as to whether God made them pretty or not.


I am not claiming to be a guru, therapist, or even a socialite.  I am merely a young lady who loves to write and desperately needs to rediscover this outlet for venting and learning myself how to deal with life when it reels its ugly head.  Let this blog be not a place for me to tell you what to do, but for me to help provoke thought, say what you have been thinking.  Maybe someone will stumble across a piece that I wrote one day and give me a profound answer as to what to do when things get ugly.

As a woman who has always been told to “act like a lady”, I feel that it’s time to be myself in those moments; whether that means that I want to scream, yell, cry, curse, spit, or say nothing.  In my opinion, getting pretty is an outlet.  Pretty as in finding a way to get pretty happy, pretty faithful, pretty strong, or just simply getting pretty.  As of now, when things get ugly I just be myself as opposed to "acting" anything.  Simply put... when life gets ugly, let’s learn to get pretty something more often.

"We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies."  ~Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive