Written by a Woman, Dark Brown

Staring Back At Me

By Alicia Williams

So there's this sister... always staring at me.

Smiling happily through glorious moments of my life.

Crying with me when my heart hurts, trying desperately not to shed a tear.

This sister, who seems to know my every secret... from my deepest emotion to my most elusive fear.

Said to be birthed in the motherland but given to the world directly from the heavens. 

A sister whose womb once rested at the forefront of many nations... from the pyramids of Egypt, to the apartheid in South Africa, to the carnivals throughout the West Indies and South American countries that supplied the hands who built the American soil that we stand on.

So there's this sister...

Pushed so far out in the fields of slavery that her constant push in helping others escape to freedom was barely noticed.  Her hands bruised and battered from digging and picking, sitting amidst the animals as if she were one, with strength unlike any other woman.  

Serving as the driving force to her people's survival for a long-lasting lineage.

So there's this sister... 

Civil righteous to the bone.

Standing front line on the picket line, at the counter conducting sit-ins, facing the sheets of Klan's men... not afraid to state her claim for peace and equality.  The future bearer of a black panther village, from an afro-pic to a hot comb, always dressed and prepped for the fight of her life.

So there's this sister...

Funky and hip.  The hippest foxy brown diva, yo-yo girl, bootylicious bombshell strolling around her way as an around the way girl.

Intimidating to females because her vibe packed punches.  Over-analyzed by her male counterparts who couldn't seem to figure out how a woman of this color could be so damn fine.  Bashed by boriquas and redbones, facing words from those who were only a sun ray away from matching her mahogany.  

So there's this sister...

Called black, and dark when chocolate and brown justify the truth of her skin tone.

Beautiful and brown, skin rich and milky like the coco swirl to a caffeinated mixture.

Eyes slanted, pupils piercing any and every soul that dare glares back at her.

A physique mimicking that of a coke bottle... not too wide in the hips or busty in her breast, lean and mean but curvy enough to attract attention from the likes of any and every.

So there's this sister...

Ridiculed for centuries because God blessed her with a sun kissed complexion, 

Full of simplified complexities despite societies persistence to make her appear more complicated than she really is.

A sister who's told how beautiful of a "dark skinned" woman she is as if beauty of her kind doesn't come around often... when her kind of beauty is unmatched

A sister who's color has always been a topic of discussion... whose looks are exotic, skin flawless, beauty breath taking.

Telling me her story every time I look into her face... sharing all of the history that lies in her shade of brown.

Reminding me of how gorgeous I am when the world tries to shun me for a uniqueness I am in love with.  

A skin that history has proven to be tough... that is sometimes forgotten about and belittled for shallow and unintelligent reasons.

So there's this sister...

Who loves me for who I am, appreciative of what God has created.  

A sister who I thank... For her beauty is my beauty.  

A sister whose past will forever be embedded into my soul and nature of existence will forever fill my heart.

A sister who I too am staring at... For I am the beautiful dark brown, chocolate sister staring back at me.

Hated for Being Beautiful

I had the intention of writing about something out of my norm today.  I know my title suggests a piece about models or something related to beauty image, but I'm sorry to have to burst any fashion-lover's bubble... this piece is about politics (oh no!)  Why not discuss a janky political system that lies within a government and society that hates people like me and our President... merely because of the beautiful skin color we are blessed to have.  After watching Obama's State of the Union addresss, I felt the need to get a few things about our lovely country off of my chest.

Probably more than half of the politically dormant American population tuned in to President Obama's speech.  I say this because my timeline on Twitter was literally all tuned in, most who I know don't have a political bone or care in their body.  And if that person happens to be you, don't worry, I don't plan to venture into statements made during his speech or give you an in-depth CNN analysis of his proposals for America.  Instead I'd just like to share with you what was personally provoked mentally through what I saw, not what I heard.

Is this not the funniest, but realest pic?

It's Washington, it's the government, so of course it is expected that the room of attendees present for Obama's speech were mostly white and male.  Most of whom actually stood up and clapped for a good amount of his speech.  So much that my followers on Twitter were begging for them to stop the interruptions.  But there, sitting behind President Obama, were Vice President Joe Biden (who I absolutely adore) and Speaker of the House, John Boehner.  Vice President Biden smiled and clapped in agreement with President Obama... I mean, he is his VP.  In contrast, I noticed that throughout President Obama's ENTIRE speech John Boehner had a horrendous look of disgust on his face, knowing that all of America could see his "I hate black people" facial expressions.  His clapping was obviously forced and full of sarcasm.  He looked as if it was paining him to sit there and watch a black man give the State of Union address as the President of the United States.  I didn't realize how much I missed the site and presence of Nancy Pelosi (former Speaker of the House), until tonight.

Back row, from right to left: Vice President Joe Biden. Speaker of the House (crybaby, RED-neck, literally) John Boehner

When Nancy Pelosi was still the Speaker of the House.  Is that smile for Obama Nancy? :)

Boehner's blatant and obvious stares of disapproval during Obama's speech was very much uncalled for and down right childish.  It's as if he was throwing a silent tantrum to himself.  Well Boehner, whether you like it or not, this man is your president... elected through the democratic system that America is proud to have and supposedly leading by example.  I love having the right to vote in this alleged democracy of ours, but how is it that in a country where a black man can be voted into office does so much racism and classism still exists? My  facebook and twitter friends brought to my attention today the Kelly Bolar case in Akron Ohio.  This case involves the harsh and extreme sentencing of a black mother who was jailed for lying on documents so her children did not have to attend the school around the projects where they lived.  Instead she used the kids father's address so they could attend a predominantly white school in their father's neighborhood which gave them better opportunities.

Now I don't know about you, but I know plenty of parents who have used the addresses of family members and friends so that they're kids could attend a better school.  I mean, honestly, since when did trying to give your children a better education warrant jail time?  Cases like Ms. Bolar's case, the Marcus Dixon case where a young black boy in Georgia was given a cruel sentencing after being falsely accused of raping his white girlfriend, the Jena 6 case where a group of black teens got into a fight with a group of white teens and then were wrongfully charged & given excessive sentencing while the white teens received none, the Oscar Grant killing where a black teen in Oakland was shot repeatedly by an officer as he laid helplessly in hand cuffs.  I could go on for days speaking of stories of injustice that have happened in this country over the last 6-7 years. 

I look at a country whose government has allowed cases and situations like the ones I mentioned to take place... a government who didn't come to the rescue of it's own people when Hurricane Katrina paralyzed a city and left too many to count dead or homeless... a government who watched business after business close, while day in and day out families found themselves on the streets because mom and dad were now unemployed.  I thought that all of these problems were why we, black and white America, chose Obama to be our President?  Because we, black and white America, knew that things were going horribly wrong.  I look at a country that has elected a black man as president but has slowly turned their backs on him as quickly as they put him in office, allowing fools like Boehner to change their opinions.

Some of the Hurricane Katrina aftermath

Sadly enough, the young Obama supporters are over the hype, the old Obama supporters are running out of steam, and everyone else is either indifferent or raising hell trying to bring his presidency down before he even completes his term.  People hate everything about a man who in the little time that he's been in office has improved the state of jobs, health care, and the war that we're fighting oversees.  The Republican Party, Tea Party, and other Obama opposers are doing everything in their power to undermine and belittle what he HAS done... fighting against him as he tries to alleviate issues as sensitive and significant as health care and helping poor and middle class families.  All I've seen from Obama opposers is pointing fingers, being angry with Obama for the sake of being angry.  This is not the time for the government to be against one another, okaying its citizens to hate one another.  The reality is that Obama is THEE president, so as our government officials support his efforts and do something... stop talking.

I watched the Republican and Tea Party commentary following President Obama's excellent speech and cringed at how hard they are trying to kill all Obama stands for; knowing that their Republican counterpart brought us into this mess.  President Obama has done more thus far than most president's have done their full term.  The beauty of living that he stands for is hated, simply because the beauty of his appearance involves a skin complexion that's brown. *sigh*  It all just angers me.  How are we not to hate in return, when for so many years we have faced hatred?  Will "America the beautiful" ever truly include ALL Americans?  I'm beginning to lose hope.

"But what we can do, as flawed as we are, is still see God in other people, and do our best to help them find their own grace. That's what I strive to do, that's what I pray to do every day." ~President, Barack Obama

A Different Kind of Lovin'

Rumor has it that I'm bad in answering and returning phone calls... so says a few close friends of mine.  I object and completely disagree with this statement!!! You know how it is sometimes, you truly get engulfed or distracted by something that you were doing when they called.  Your friends though, your closes ones at that, the ones who know your day to day schedule, will call you during the most awkward times of your day... times where day in and day out you are not available.

They'll call you when they know you are still asleep, taking your daily nap, at work where talking on the phone is NOT even an option, booed up, or away somewhere where your cellphone is the last thing on your mind or not even accessible.  Then they'll wonder why you haven't answered their calls lol... c'mon now deviant callers known as the friends that I love dearly, call me when I'm actually free! haha.  It may sound like I'm nagging or complaining, but I'm not.  My circle of friends has just been getting on me about this lately, so I wanted to tease them.  This blog entry doesn't even have anything to do with missed calls.  Instead it's about the ones in our lives who we love like family but aren't related to us by blood, not one drop... our FRIENDS... more specifically... our close friends, known as our CIRCLE.  This blog entry is dedicated to my Trio! Established @ Howard University... prior & post.  This is truly a different kind of lovin'.

Most of us have probably heard of the saying that goes something like "as you get older you don't lose friends, you find out who your real ones are."  Don't quote me, but you get the gist of it.  When you get older, you go through these phases where you begin to distant yourself from certain people.  Either because your interest are no longer the same, they've done something unacceptable to you or someone close to you, or you feel as if you can no longer deal with their immature and/or screwed up character.  From personal experience and observation, here are a few "friends", also known as associates who we all should avoid and RUN AWAY from if we call any of these types of people "friends". (Unless you fall into the same categories yourself).  They are as follows:

1. The Groupie. They want to use you for the limelight.  There is something that you have or something/someone that you have access to that they want or want to be around.  In a creepy way, sometimes it appears that they want to be you.
2. The Con Man. They lie and are sneaky = can't be trusted. You can't loan this friend anything because you'll never get it back.  They will connive their way into getting whatever it is that they need out of you.  From a sad story, for sympathy... to a "you get this round of drinks, I got the next one!"... which you know won't  happen! 
3. The Attention Whore.  They want every bit of attention that you receive, no matter if it's from the opposite sex, other fellow friends, an employer, a coach, family etc.  They want it all!  And they'll leave you high and dry out in the cold to get what they want!
4. The Flirt. Not to be confused with The Attention Whore, but they do go hand and hand.  This person craves feeling like the most beautiful/flyest thing out there... and if that means feeling as if they could take your girl/man away from you then so be it.  You don't feel comfortable with them around your boyfriend/girlfriend or even just someone who you have a crush on or are somewhat interested in.
5. The Tabloid. They always have negative things to say about other people and/or are always gossiping about someone.  9 times out of 10 when you aren't around they dog you hard as hell and tell all of your business.
6. The Hater. They belittle you.  They are so stuck on themselves, or jealous of what you have that the only way to make themselves feel better is to diss everything that you have and anything that goes good for you.
7. The Spoiled Brat. They're selfish.  When the going gets tough for you, they are no where to be found.  They want you there for them for everything, and will be quick to call you out if you're not.  Strangely they turn into David Blaine and disappear when you need them most.
8. The Dropout. This friend really has no ambition or the goals that they have are crazy.  They bring you down... always wanting to get into trouble of some sort.  They may even clown and make jokes about you and your success/drive to succeed in front of other nobodies.
9. The Love Sick Puppy. With this friend, any man/girl/boo that comes into their life is immediately placed in front you.  Once this friend is "in love" you can say goodbye to any and everything that you did to hang out.  They make it clear that you are only priority and important when they are single and lonely... but yet you are the first one they call as soon they get played.
10. The Dependent.  You might as well start claiming this friend on your taxes!  It is soooo important that you are there for them for literally EVERYTHING.  They call you with questions like, "I don't know if I should breathe today? What do you think?"  If it weren't for you, this poor sole wouldn't know how to function properly.
 

There maybe some other types that you can think of, but the aforementioned ones are people who I've come across.  By the age of 25, these people NEED to be completely gone out of your life! I've gone away from having a big circle of friends.  I used to have a big circle that I talked to about life and my feelings... to only find out later that those people couldn't be trusted.  It hurts when you lose a good friend.  When a person becomes a good friend, it's as if they become a part of your family.  Whether you hate them or not... there is always a bit of nostalgia from funny, crazy, and wacky moments that you've had together.  And what sucks, are the moments when you look back when that person was there for you for a particular situation, or the moments when you remember actually feeling brother/sisterhood... it makes you ask yourself... What went wrong??

I've honestly battled with that question a few times, too many times for my liking.  Too many times to where it's made me sit down and question my own state of mind and ability to be a good friend.  Maybe it's me I considered?  But then those remaining good friends of mine, pointed out that I have a good heart, which causes me to give someone too much credit when they've shown me signs that they didn't deserve that much credit in the first place.  Yea, I'm definitely past that point now.  My senior year of college, after the elementary/middle/and underclassmen friend fumbles and tests, after I myself had to mature... I found my true circle of friends.

My circle is very small indeed.  These people have been there for me through my most trying times without ever judging me or making me feel ashamed for any mistake or choice that I've made.  They have never tried to hate, support me in literally EVERYTHING that I want to do and have done!  They have always told me the truth when it came to guys, even physically hurt for me as I went through some very trying times in maturing.  We are each quirky and different in our way, but we understand that about one another.  We all have ambition, spirituality, beauty, and brains.  I pray that these ladies remain my close circle forever... and that I am as a good friend to them as they are to me.  My big brother from another mother, Ray, gets an honorable mention for all of the above reasons as well (but I won't put his photo up without his approval lol).  I don't regret any friend ordeal that I've had.  Just as in any ordeal in life, you live and you learn.  And those who matter will be around throughout that process.  If you wouldn't settle for a mate, then why settle for a friend.

“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” ~Anonymous

My Skin is Brown...

(Wednesday, January 12, 2011)

  "Four Women" Nina Simone Tribute. Kelly Price, Marsha Ambrosius, Jill Scott, Ledisi.

I know Black Girls Rock aired months ago, but I had to post this performance for the purposes of this entry.  Every time I watch this tribute, I literally get chills.  The black female is by far one of God's most special creations and probably the most complicated.  I normally have something to tell you as to what inspired my blog entry, but today, it was merely looking into the mirror.  While taking my hair down this morning, dazed, staring into my vanity, I thought to myself "wow, I am truly a beautiful woman."  In no way am I trying to be conceited or cocky, but sometimes you need to really look into a mirror and make that realization... especially us black women.  We deal with and have dealt with so much in society, yet are ridiculed and made fun of so often... by sadly... one another and our black male counterparts.  Twitter jumps when topics like "hood hoes" are trending.  Music videos are full of boricuas and red bones.  Society places the "home wrecker" label quickly onto budding black women in entertainment. Ridiculous.

In a discussion I had with a few women my age a while back, the consensus was that black women are the hardest on one another.  We bicker, we fight, we hate.  To an extent I agree.  As females, we definitely need to do better with our respect for one another.  But personally, I feel that black men are the hardest on black women.  Here it is 2011, and I still hear black men making comments implying that dark skin women aren't beautiful.  So I guess the rest of her has nothing to do with it??? Just her skin color??? Really though???  A man will date a woman, but through the process tell her how he wants her to wear her hair, how he wants her to dress, what food he wants her to eat, what amount of make-up she should wear.  He'll belittle what she finds entertaining, constantly benefit from her kindness yet quickly call her a nag or bitch when she finally stands up for herself.  Sometimes when I see all of this happening, I just want to yell STOP!

My black men, women in general are already insecure in so many facets.  The most confident, most beautiful woman has insecurities.  Black women compete because the black man puts them against one another with out even realizing he's doing so.  A man will constantly make comments to his woman about how attractive a celebrity is, and never think that maybe it's getting to her head.  Sad to say, females react.  It's in our genetic make-up.  God gave us all of these emotions, so we could be excellent mothers and nurturers... so we could be loving with our children, supportive to our husbands, and empathetic to society.

Black women are indeed strong, but we endure a lot that I don't think anyone but a black woman can comprehend completely.  I am a young, black, female Head Coach in a man's world.  If only you knew some of things that I have had to go through in order to gain respect.  We are two times the minority.  Our sexuality always has to be guarded when things like rape and "hoe" labels exist.  Our womanhood has to be easily recognizable to be wanted, yet our backbone has to be present to be respected.  Then as black women, we are expected to be stronger than the average woman.  I know that black women aren't innocent in the making judgments department, but I don't think black men understand the magnitude of impact that they possess.  When you give a woman assurance that everything is okay, then she will be okay because you are her king.  I would hope that a race which has faced so much prejudice and ridicule as a whole, would see how much they need one another.  We are each others biggest and worst critics when we need to be each others biggest and best supporters.  My brown people, learn to love beautiful for what it is and not for what you think it should be.  Learn to encourage.  Black men, my kings, you have my support... but all I, your queen, ask for is yours.

"As far as I knew white women were never lonely, except in books. White men adored them, Black men desired them and Black women worked for them." ~Maya Angelou

Eating, Praying, Loving

(Friday, January 7, 2011)

 

Last night, around 6 o'clock in the evening, I decided to grab a pack of Keebler's Fudge Striped cookies, a steak and cheese sandwich, a cup of Minute Maid Berry Punch, and watch a movie that I had been dying to see... "Eat, Pray, Love".  While everyone else was stuck in bumper to bumper rush hour traffic, standing on a crowded train, or lugging a day's worth of work into their respective places of residence... I was already winding down for the night.

In case you have been locked in a cave and have absolutely no idea what "Eat, Pray, Love" is about, let me fill you in briefly.  It stars the magnificent Julia Roberts (Pretty Woman), as she finds herself newly divorced and on a quest to regain herself through traveling, eating, meditating, praying, and eventually loving with the help of an old tooth-less medicine man from what I call Bally-wood.  Simply put, she's has a mid-life crisis.  Of course this movie sounds like your average chick flick, but it was extremely insightful.  It's based on the memoirs of Elizabeth Gilbert... meaning this was indeed an actual woman's journey.

I am not a huge fan of the average lovey-dovey chick flick.  Why?  Because, unless I am madly in love with someone, those movies tend to make me jealous and bring on unwanted nostalgia. "Eat, Pray, Love" was different.  For majority of the movie, Julia Roberts' character didn't have a love interest... her focus was more on finding herself.  When adults who are 40 and over began to search for themselves, we generally call that a mid-life crisis.  However, I believe that there is a thing such as "20's life crisis".  Post college you hit a point, as you get closer to 30, when you realize that life isn't making sense anymore.  Your dreams no longer seem attainable, and you're not even sure if you want to pursue that area further anyway.  Your friends begin to get married and start their families, graduate from law/medical/grad school, make big moves across country; and if you are not doing any of the above then you feel as if you're being left behind.  Eventually you find yourself on a quest to find... well, yourself.

You went through 4 years (or more) of undergrad believing that you had it all figured out.  Then life shows up somewhere between the graduation dinner and 2nd career change making you feel as if you have a long way to go.  I think everyday, "damn, so I'm going to be working for the rest of my life?"  That's when you realize that you are screwed if you don't find your passion soon.  And around the 5th or 6th date, and/or major argument with your gf/bf you realize that marriage is a long ways away if you don't find a boo soon.  Funny because the average person knew that life would be grand and perfect at 26.  Well who is to say that it isn't.  Just because you haven't reached your goals doesn't mean that you're not on the right track.  This is where eating, praying, and loving come into play.

I'm not perfect.  I myself am going through my "20s life crisis" which is why I can define it so exact.  I feel as if I'm so close to having almost everything I want but as if it's being dangled in front of my face like a T-bone steak covered in Kibbled and Bits being dangled in front of a starving dog who just left Noah's Arc.  Every other week I'm motivated and passionate about my future.  Then as soon as life throws me a lemon I'm knocked off track and back questioning where I'm headed.

The "20s Life Crisis" exists now because our generation is so far ahead of its time.  Those of us in our 20s are the moving force that created social networks like Twitter, Facebook, and Myspace.  We are the ones who pushed the campaign that put our nation's first black president in office.  We are the ones who weren't drafted into war, but signed up voluntarily despite knowing that our country is currently at war.  Our generation is so used to urgency.  We need to take a minute, breathe, and think about this.  Life still moves at its own pace, no matter how fast we receive emails now.  It's okay if you haven't discovered yourself yet.  Julia Roberts' character had a mid-life moment to finally find balance.  If we take our time now, then we can avoid having a drastic change and mental breakdown post 40.

In the movie, Julia Roberts encounters several people on her journey who help her learn how to simply appreciate the person that she is and her blessings.  She meditates and prays every morning, and eats what her heart desires... because this is what makes her happy.  Not the material things, the jobs, the husband, the things that we feel we are supposed to have in life.  She learns how to make herself happy.  And got dammit if food makes you happy, eat it!  As long as you have your ambition and a dream... things will start to fall into place on their own.  As you can see Julia Roberts' character didn't sit around and cry the whole movie, stressing doesn't make anything come faster.  I whole-heartedly believe that God's assistance will come into play when it's your turn anyway.... that's the praying part ya know. Lastly, there's this thing called love... it happens... but will only thrive when you yourself are complete.

Lessons I learned from "Eat, Pray, Love":

1. When you find yourself obsessing over the past... wish him or her love in your mind... then drop it.

2. The space that you're using in your head worrying and obsessing needs to be removed so that that space can be filled with new and wonderful blessings.

3. Learn how to simply empty your thoughts... meditate.

4. Pray everyday.

5. To be balanced does involve loving and being loved, but after you have found balance within yourself.

6. Don't just exist... stop always waiting for things to happen.

7. Appreciate those and those things that make you happy.

8. Know when it's time... whether to change, to move on, to grow, to let go... Peace is the end result.

There were many other lessons in this movie, but I leave the rest for you to make your own interpretations.  I suggest watching this movie alone so that you can grasp the lessons and really identify with Julia Robert's character through your true emotions.  The title makes so much sense in explaining the essentials of life... essentials that I know will get me through my "20s Life Crisis"... eating, praying, and loving.  

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life."  ~Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love.

When Life Gets Ugly... Act like a lady

(Friday, January 7, 2011)

Time and time again as young ladies we are told that we are supposed to act like a lady when life gets ugly, but this generation can be a bit confusing.  We have the strong, independent women around us who are happy and proud to say that they absolutely, positively do NOT need a man in their lives, are the head of their household, and often times play the "angry woman" role if you dare get her order wrong in a restaurant.  Then we have the women who are traditional and old-fashion.  These are stereotypically women with strong southern roots who feel that being submissive to a man is key to gaining you one and having a gorgeous family together.  These women would not mind being homemakers, and may even look down upon women who were never married or had their children out of wedlock.

These two contradictions of a female make it difficult for those of us in our 20s who are just now feeling out the world.  I often find myself in tough situations, never knowing if it is the time for me to show that I am not a weak female… or if I must act like a lady at all cost and choose my battles.  No matter how I decide to handle my battles and/or my business, life gets ugly.  Since graduating from college in 2007, I have seen life turn its ugly head.  From financial issues, to school issues, to male drama, and family drama… life gets ugly.  The ugliness of life is what inspired this blog, because like myself, 90% of the world does not know the best way to handle life when it gets ugly. Hell, more than a quarter of that 90% probably doesn't even know who they are yet.  Looking into a mirror every day trying to decide whether their conscious is stable enough to take the pretty road or the ugly one... most who haven't even been able to look themselves in the mirror and give a definite answer as to whether God made them pretty or not.


I am not claiming to be a guru, therapist, or even a socialite.  I am merely a young lady who loves to write and desperately needs to rediscover this outlet for venting and learning myself how to deal with life when it reels its ugly head.  Let this blog be not a place for me to tell you what to do, but for me to help provoke thought, say what you have been thinking.  Maybe someone will stumble across a piece that I wrote one day and give me a profound answer as to what to do when things get ugly.

As a woman who has always been told to “act like a lady”, I feel that it’s time to be myself in those moments; whether that means that I want to scream, yell, cry, curse, spit, or say nothing.  In my opinion, getting pretty is an outlet.  Pretty as in finding a way to get pretty happy, pretty faithful, pretty strong, or just simply getting pretty.  As of now, when things get ugly I just be myself as opposed to "acting" anything.  Simply put... when life gets ugly, let’s learn to get pretty something more often.

"We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies."  ~Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive