It's a Different World... Than Where We Come From!

I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was a crisp and cool Fall evening.  Me and about 10 other classmates of mine sat bored to death in a Public Relations course being held in a small classroom in the Liberal Arts building of Towson University.  Towson, a predominantly white public institution, has been branded as one of the better schools for a quality education in the state of Maryland... but this is debatable in my eyes after the ordeals I've had to face there as a graduate student.  Anywho, my professor (who shall remain nameless) began talking about colleges and universities in the PR world.  My classmate, a graduate of Morgan State University, raised his hand and began to so very eloquently discuss the lack of media attention that H.B.C.U's receive.  My professor sat atop one of the desk in the room with a puzzled look as my classmate continued to speak, puzzled as if he were trying to decipher the language that my classmate was speaking.  Then my professor, a man who has been a professor for years, a man who carries a Ph.D, waited until my classmate finished, then asked... "what are H.C.B.B.U's? Did I say it correctly?"  NO YOU DID NOT SIR!  I know my face dropped, as did my classmate who had just finished speaking.  My other classmates weren't phased by this ridiculous question that a man who carries a Ph.D and stands as a professor of higher-ed in a state that is home to 3, basically 4 if you count Howard since it's in DC, historically black colleges and universities.  In a class of about 12, there were only 2 of us who where black, and we both coincidentally attended H.B.C.U's.  I, Howard, and him Morgan.  Offended, appalled, confused... I'm not sure how I felt.  But at that point, he completely lost any and all credibility and respect from me.

Yesterday, my Alma mater, the illustrious Howard University turned 144 years old.  Standing only one year younger than Towson University where my ill-knowledged professor taught, and where I now attend to for my Master's degree.  This blog entry is obviously dedicated to historically black colleges and universities.  Oh how I love them!  In high school, I remember wanting to attend the huge predominantly white institutions off of the mere fact that their basketball teams made the NCAA tourney.  Then in my sophomore year, I went on a visit to Hampton Institute (haha) and fell in love with the black college world.  I immediately went home and begin to research H.B.C.U's.  I talked to my mother about it, and she went out and got me a book that listed every HBCU in the nation and its information.  The more I broke down my criteria for my college education and researched, the more I realized which one was best for me.  This led to thee BEST decision I've made thus far in my life... to attend Howard University.  

Aside from loving my alma mater, I am in love with historically black colleges and universities and what they represent.  And my experiences at Towson have solidified those feelings.  I remember getting into deep conversations in high school where "friends" of mine would say dumb things like

"you can't get the real world experience at a black school".  

Now I'm not one who folds under peer pressure, so I wasn't phased.  I was more so amused by the stupidity.   I was completely confident in my choice despite the critics.  Plus I had wonderful family support in wanting to attend Howard.  I come from a family of HBCU graduates.  My mother, Coppin State University, my aunt and other cousins, North Carolina Central University, cousins on my mom's side, North Carolina A & T, cousins on my dad side, Morgan State University... and the lineage continues with my younger cousins and little sister.  HBCU's carry real world qualities that are damn near impossible to achieve at predominantly white institutions.

My professors at Howard could tell it like it is!
 

There was no sugar-coating for the sake of someone being offended in my college classrooms.  No dancing around a topic like I have experienced in my classes at Towson where everyone is afraid to talk because they don't want to offend the black kids.  Or I received the extreme opposite at times, where they would say whatever the hell they felt like saying with no respect for other ethnicities.  My professors would tell us straight up what we may have to face because of the color of our skin in the working world, and how to not lose ourselves and our integrity because of it.  My professors allowed us to come to their offices and just talk about life, ask questions, discuss any and every thing without passing judgment.  My professors, my counselors, my career advisers, did everything in their power to make sure we were trained to be better than the next, white or black.  They helped us get those internships and jobs through personal connections.  

I wrote an article while at Howard for Black College View's online newspaper about predominantly black institutions versus predominantly black ones; therefore, I ended up having to interview various students.  I interviewed teammates of mine who transferred from the big white schools, one the University of Tennessee and one the University of Pittsburgh.  I also interviewed a white guy on campus who was fairly popular and a member of the swim team.  My teammates explained how transferring to Howard was the best decision that they could've made.  That their professors and counselors at Howard all acted as if they really wanted them to do well and succeed while they received no sort of guidance at their former schools.  On the contrary, in talking to the white student, he felt that he was treated differently because he was white.  He felt that students looked at him funny on a daily basis.  I sympathized with him to an extent, but I also thought "welcome to our world on a daily basis." 

Oddly enough, that young man ended up transferring.  Not all HBCU's have a mix of students.  We did because the graduate programs and schools that we had, along with our hospital.  But regardless of the student mix, the faculty help is there.  You can always find someone willing to be in your corner for the long run.  I am now in my final year at Towson (I pray), and I recently ran into a situation where I needed a new chair for my thesis.  I could not get a professor, a director, anyone to answer any of my emails or phone calls for help.  For weeks I tried.  Then I finally scrolled through the faculty list, and emailed the ONE black professor in my department... who also received her Ph.D for an HBCU (HU *toot*toot).  After nearly a month of trying to get someone to help me, the one black professor responded to email in less than 24hours.  Everything continues to add to my beliefs.  Now I'm not saying you must attend an HBCU for all levels of your education, but having it in there somewhere can be life changing.  It's a true college experience.

Coming from an HBCU I feel more confident in myself and my abilities.  I understand how important it is to maintain my integrity and how my color is sometimes a factor, yet I can not let that get to my head.  In high school, I went through the same stigmas in attending an all-girl school.  The notion that I was somehow "missing out" on the real world.  But what people fail to understand is that being in a situation where you are not the minority for once is empowering.  The self-esteem that you gain and pride that you attain is remarkable.  According to the public, I shouldn't have any idea of how to handle the real world.   Poor Alicia, went to an all girl, then an all black school.  Yea right, I know how to handle situations better than most.  And now I am a professor myself, determined to give my students the support that I received at Howard and didn't receive at Towson. 

My friends, graduates of schools where they were the majority are killing the friends of mine who went with the "real world".  Just as in the "real world" your left to fend for yourself.  So they're still digging, trying to figure out how to get to the top, while my friends and I were shown how to duck and dodge, and make it there.  We were taught that mediocre is NOT an option.  You CAN and you WILL do BETTER.  Of course, all that I say here doesn't apply to every person and every situation.  I know people doing great things on all ends, black and white schools... but getting help a long the way is never a bad thing.  It just bothers me when I hear black adults today say that they don't want their kids attending a black school.  How dare you be a black person and look down on what your people have built so that your kids even have a choice of education today?  If blacks schools aren't your thing, then so be it but do not dare belittle all of them because of your own ignorance.  These HBCU's were at the forefront of producing a lot of the civil rights movements and great leaders that changed this country.  So here I stand as a proud graduate and supporter of an historically black college and university.  Happy Belated Birthday Howard University.  HBCU's I salute you!

List of HBCU's -- White House Initiatve

http://www2.ed.gov/about/inits/list/whhbcu/edlite-list.html

Bandwagoners... They do exist!

Oprah at my college graduation... HOWARD UNIV C/O 2007

"Failure is God's way of pointing you into another direction!"  Spokenly beautifully by Miss Oprah Winfrey herself at my college graduation.  Makes you want to re-evaluate the age-old question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?'  The question we're asked constantly growing up, or at least it was in my household.  Most little kid answers are always typical.  They all want to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, policemen, singers... you know, the usual.  All great professions but generic nonetheless.  I too went through the list of generic professions.  All throughout elementary and middle school I wanted to be a pediatrician, mostly because I was sick a lot with ear infections and such, so I paid my pediatrician (Dr. Lena Parikh) visits very often.  She was this sweet little Indian lady who always knew how to make me feel better and make the pain go away.   Then when I realized how much I despised science, I changed and wanted to be a teacher.  My mother and aunt were both teachers, two women who I admired and looked up to greatly.  I loved going to work with my mother prior to the start of the school year to help her decorate her classroom, and I used to beg her to let me assist with grading the piles and piles of papers she used to have stacked on the dining room table every Sunday.  But when I discovered how the pay scale for teachers actually worked my senior year of high school, I said never mind to teaching English and hello to being a lawyer.

Most of us who attend/attended college, enter college with big dreams of where we want to be in our lives and our profession.  Many of us even believe early on that we already know how we're going to get there... but then something happens.  The area of study that you thought you loved starts kicking your ass and dropping your g.p.a.  Internships or the non-existence of them make you question the path you're supposed to take to get to where you want to be.  Guest speakers brought in by your professors speak on more minuses than pluses.  You watch friends of yours who had the balls and money to switch their majors finally start to hum a happy tune... making you tamper with the idea of switching your major even though you know you'd never really do it this late in the game.  These type of things lead to us having that bit of doubt and uncertainty sitting in our subconscious even after we have landed the job we thought we wanted or a graduate school seat.

I see so many proclaimed experts writing blogs and telling the world what it is that they want to do, and I feel as if half of us are taking the cop out.  Most of the blogs I come across and actually take the time to read talk about fashion, or the author is somehow trying to be the next Necole Bitchie or spawn another YBF site.  Everyone swears "fashion is their passion" and they deem themselves PR specialists and publicity geniuses but can barely write a proper press release or have no idea what I'm talking about.  The majority of us have a passion for fashion, what budding 20 something year old doesn't?  Then we have those who are striving for entrepreneurship.  I admire you, I do.  But if I see another link to a website that contains 5 articles of clothing and 1 piece of jewelry that you want me to "add to my cart" when it should really read "add to my bite-sized basket" because there's not much to choose from... I'm going to scream.  Is this why you don't mind being unemployed?  Clearly someone else is either paying their bills, helping them pay the bills, or their family is wealthy enough anyway where it really doesn't matter.

The killer, is the law school phenomenon.  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is/have/or will be applying to law school amidst post graduation.  Most of whom probably never really considered it but like any other "trend", jumped on the bandwagon.  I will admit, that once was my own aspiration.  The difference is, I actually went to Howard for law, studying the ins and outs of what it would take to be a lawyer.  I remember the weekends spent in the law library with my classmates writing memos and appellate briefs, as our teacher called himself getting us ready for our first year of law school.  I was really good at it according to my professors.  The pre-law teacher who made us write these weekly briefs applauded me on my work, making me one of his few A students.  My business law teacher wrote a note on one of my exams about how excellent my case analysis was and that I should definitely pursue a legal career.  All of these instances somehow weren't enough for me.  I lost my excitement mid-first semester of my senior year.  I was no longer completely sure that I saw myself as a lawyer.

As a result, I never took the LSAT and I didn't apply to any law schools.  Instead, I applied to a graduate Communications Master's program in order to give myself more time to figure out what I want to be.  I tapped into my athletic side and gave the sports world a try.  I interned with the Baltimore Ravens, and I was only 1 of 2 graduate students.  Everyone else was just barely entering undergrad.  I ended up hating the internship and decided to give Towson's marketing department a try, again as an assistant/intern.  The marketing part was interesting but what I fell in love with was higher-education itself.  Higher-ed was where I saw myself, whether in admissions, compliance, advising/teaching, or athletics... I wanted to have a career within the university world.  Not your average generic career aspiration.  A want that comes with explanation whenever someone ask me what is it that I wish to do.

My little cousin London and I at his High School graduation.

I yearned to be in a position of helping young adults.  Young adults who have already made it this far to pursue their education after high school but aren't sure where to go next.  Society does so much to get us to college and know the importance of it, yet we are forgotten about once we get there.  Here we are, 18 years old, entering a degree program that could determine the rest of our lives... and they honestly expect us to already be sure that this is the field we want to spend the rest of our lives working in?  Why not allow students not to pick up a major until their sophomore year?  Yes, the undecided major exists, but we all know that it's frowned upon.  The freshman year at most colleges/universities are full of core and basic classes anyway.  Why not for that first semester have freshmen take their core classes with the addition of a career class on resume building/etiquette, and another class that explores the different fields that are out there.  Then their second semester or so they can begin to choose a major of study.  It's like showing them what's really out there and truly giving them more time to think or even be just a little bit more sure with the field they've selected.

I'll never forgot the college journey of one of my teammates at Howard.  In high school she ran track and danced.  She wasn't sure what career path she wanted to choose but because Howard had an exceptional fine arts program she chose to major in dance.  When she got into the program, she was absolutely miserable.  Each day in freshmen orientation, another teammate of mine would come into the classroom in her Howard Track & Field gear.  And each day, the dancer, envied the athlete... reflecting back on her days of running in high school.  She cried every night, confused.  Then one day, she said f*ck it and elected out of the dance program and into advertising.  She walked onto the track team, not knowing anyone.  We, the track team, all already knew one another and wondered who this girl was who hurdled as if she were doing ballet.  Eventually, we fell in love with her sweet spirit and remarkable talent.  She ended up being such a crucial part to our team, winning All-MEAC honors in her first outdoor championship collegiate meet, running on two relays that qualified for the NCAA regionals, and most importantly earning her way into a full track scholarship.  And as far as her career goes, she got herself a job in advertising right out of college with a big time corporation.  None of this would've been possible if she had remained miserable as a dance major.

I say all of this because this young lady/former teammate of mine was able to have enough courage to go against the norm.  There are so many people, of all ages, who feel stuck in a career, a field, a job, or a study.  You know, life is funny about the direction it takes us in.  It has the power to show us that just when we think we have it all figured out, we're wrong.  I'm trying my best to stay away from the norm and officially put my once law school dreams behind me, because the reality is that law school is no longer my dream.  The reality is that now, I have a sight on my higher-ed career dreams, the completion of my MS degree, and the studying of my Doctorate in the next 5 years.  I feel comfortable and assured when I say this.  I don't feel forced.  There's no bandwagon that I'm apart of.  And if I had to go back to school to get another certificate or certification in a different field, I would.  Anything to avoid being an old person who hates going to work, feeling as if something is missing, awaiting my retirement for a chance at my passion.  We are going to be working for the rest of our lives, or for the majority of it anyway.  That is a long time to be waking every morning dreading going to work.  It's time to figure something out now people.  Today ask yourself, "what do you want to be NOW that you are grown up?"  Your answer, these days, might just surprise you.

"This is Jay everyday, no compromise.  No compass comes with this life, just eyes.  So to map it out, you must look inside.  Sure books can guide you, but your heart defines you." ~JayZ, Beach Chair