Get down girl, Go 'head get down

 Pretty college girls want to be sponsored these days!  The degree is just an accessory I'm learning, like the latest D&G bag.

Last night... while playing around on the usual social networks, I found myself dissecting the pages of a few friends from high school... female friends.  It feels weird calling some of them friends, when we haven't really spoken since high school/our early college years.  Some I'm not sure if we have ever spoken at all.  Regardless, I'm always game for a good photo album... especially when it comes to folks I rarely run across.  It heightens my curiosity of "where are they now?"  I looked through photos of these young ladies in very high-end and fabulous clothing, Gucci and Loub shoes (from sneakers to stilettos), overpriced Indian remy extensions and faces completely beat with make-up products.  All of whom carried a different Louis V, Marc Jacobs', or Dolce & Gabanna bag in every pic, posing with the "who's who" of make-up artists, hair stylists, promoters, photographers, etc.  But what sparked a blog entry was the absence of employment...  the "Five Star", "Baddest Bitch" captions... the stuck up behavior from people who weren't this way prior.  Fashion lovers?  Hmm, probably. 

But there lies a thin line between loving fashion and trying to be someone you're not.

Oddly enough, none of these young ladies are or have ever been runway models, Hollywood actresses, or celebrities of any kind.  They don't work in the fashion and/or entertainment industry where they have easy access to the hottest commodities.  They don't have six-figure corporate or government jobs, or own their own REAL businesses.  And sadly, most proudly admit to living this seemingly luxurious lifestyle while being unemployed, bragging about it as if they want the world to know or believe that these things are just being given to them for no reason at all.  These ladies die for exclusivity, even down to their new found circle of friends who serve as carbon copies and play things.  These ladies don't come from wealthy families where they're deemed a mini-socialite.  Not all, but most come from  families who are more mediocre than average... all chasing this "it girl" lifestyle clueless and inhibited.  This crazy hoopla of taking being fancy to the furthest extreme, led me to ask myself a few questions...

One, who is paying for these ridiculously expensive things?  
Two, who is paying for these ridiculously expensive things?  
Three, who is paying for these ridiculously expensive things?  
And Four, what are you doing/giving up for them to be paying for these ridiculously expensive things?  

The weekly weekend trips, the frequent international travel, the bags and shoes priced over $1000... there is not enough saving that one person can do per month where living jobless on his or her's own can afford this lifestyle.  I love seeing young and successful, black urban professionals... I do.  And I'm trying my best to stay away from hating and away from the assumptions floating around in my head that suggest foul play and demeaning activity.  Honestly, I hope that what I think is the case is completely not true.  I understand the love and desire for a luxurious, travel and fashion frenzied lifestyle.  I too love those things... love, love, love.  I have two big closets overflowing with clothes and shoes, drawers and cabinets full of jewelry, and a dresser and chest about to burst because of the amount of clothing stuffed in them.  I am also a lover of travel and fine things, and a bonafide fashion junkie from the root of my salon styled hair to my manicured cuticles.  But I work, proudly.  Two jobs, on top of grad school, volunteering and tutoring.  I'm not at that luxurious lifestyle just yet, but I'm pretty happy with where I am as far as longevity is concerned at 25.  Oh the luxury is imminent.  I know many females who are my age already indulging in this sought-after lifestyle, but they are employed, being paid well, saving religiously, getting family support, and creating this life for themselves through their own career and/or academic means.  But for these ladies who are participating in this lifestyle through game-participation, I don't understand your plan.  What purpose are you bringing to your life, allegedly top-notch while serving as someone else's accessory for the time being?

Why is it so important that you appear to be "that girl" living "that lifestyle" anyway?   And then you have the nerve to be flaky to folks?

I look at these girls, and I automatically think "video something".  My brain can not understand how someone who is allegedly self-employed or making the same amount of money as my friends and I, is able to maintain this lifestyle that she's portraying via social networks.  Is having a college degree not enough towards believing in your own abilities, aside from getting all dolled up?  The insecurity that's there is evident, even in the most seemingly confident female yearning for this lifestyle.  Using material things to fill in a hole where something of substance needs to be is what triggers the "I'm better than you" attitude in the first place.  This is what truly makes this whole situation get under my skin, the fact that most of these ladies walk around as if no one else in the world matters.  I've run into and have had encounters with a few former classmates of mine, some who I once considered friends, now barely speaking in passing.  The worst thing a person can do is become brand new when they feel as if they're on top.  Why?  Because life/God will eventually step in, pull you off of your high horse and bring you back to reality.  Do these women honestly believe that they will always have things handed to them?  That it's okay to treat people any kind of way?  Most of these ladies even, are one cookie away from being overweight, obese, robust... not average, just how they like it (sarcasm alert!).  The day that happens, these guys will no longer want to take them on trips, and will move on to another accessory trying to get chose.  And when that happens, these ladies will be starting from scratch... trying to make something happen for themselves while everyone else around them is already on the up and up. 

Instead of trying to acquire and maintain a status that is not applicable to the state of your life, why not try to acquire and maintain ends that will have you living this life by your own means?  Instead of living off of someone else's brand, i.e. a wealthy man or homegirl, why not work on building your own brand?  If you're traveling the world, then take the time to become fluent in a language and make something more of yourself.  Instead of living life recklessly for the short-run, why not continue your education and build your funds to be living this lifestyle in the long run?  If you have all of this free time to be lounging and randomly traveling, why not volunteer and do something for you community from time to time?  Why do all of the wrong things to be v.i.p, when honestly, it's really not that hard to be v.i.p. on any given night if you are a pretty female... the personal invitations will come, yes.  But where you go from there depends on where you're classified amidst this blog entry.  

The truth is, as women society has taught us that we have "to use what we got, to get what we want".  And realistically, attractiveness goes a long way but there's always going to be someone pretty.  You have to have something else to back it up, especially if you claim to be a "Five Star" or a "Dime"... points come from all facets.  Choose your poison.  I personally prefer wit and being deemed a sweetheart.  And that is not to be confused with pretending to be America's sweetheart for the sake of your image when you barely speak to anyone who you consider out of your circle... that's called being flaky my dear.  BUT as we all know, to each it's own or I wouldn't have written this blog.  In the words of Kanye West, "get down girl, go 'head get down"... just hopefully not in the literal sense. #imjustsaying

"Happiness blooms in the presence of self-respect and the absence of ego." ~Anonymous